


The Terrible Trio

by mideltone_one, Whytewytch



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 4,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mideltone_one/pseuds/mideltone_one, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whytewytch/pseuds/Whytewytch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: This is a multi-chap, drabble by drabble story that came to be called "The Terrible Trio" series, handed off chap by chap between myself mideltone_one over on Live Journal. For those who don't know, a drabble is a story made up of exactly 100 words; we kept to that with each chapter.</p><p>All characters belong to Tiger Aspect and the BBC—they can certainly keep the two "slaves"; the others we just wanted to play with a bit. Oh, and we're not making any money, although, we probably could have gotten people to pay by threatening to write graphic details about the three in question (there's only a couple details—don't read the first chap while eating). Ratings range between NC-17 down to G. Written as a total lark. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathing and Learning

**Title:** "Breathing and Learning"

 **Author:**  mideltone_one 

 **Rating:**  NC-17

 **Characters:** Kate, Vaizey, Tuck

 **Summary:** Kate  & Tuck are Vaizey's sexual slaves

 ~*~

Kate had never made those sounds during sex. That wasn't entirely true; she'd almost choked before with Robin, but given his size that was unsurprising.

Today it had been her swallowing Vaizey's false tooth when it came loose during a bout of french kissing. She blamed that on Tuck's behaviour in their threesome, slipping inside her from behind without a word of warning.

Yesterday she'd shrieked when she discovered that the monk went commando, and that Vaizey wore underwear lacier than her own.

She wondered how many more days she and Tuck would wait for rescue from their sexual slavery.


	2. Silence is Golden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's missing from the camp.

**Title:** Silence is Golden

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Much, mention of Robin, Little John, Will, & Djaq

 **Summary:** Something's missing... Follows on from **mideltone_one's** _Breathing and Learning_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~ 

Allan leaned against a tree, eyes closed, hands clasped over his belly in relaxation. "I'm not bein' funny, but it seems awfully quiet around 'ere, don't it?"

Much stopped stirring the pot over the fire and tilted his head in thought for a moment. "It does. Like something's missing. Or someone."

Allan cracked open an eye to peer around the camp. "There's Robin over there, making arrows. And there's Little John with that lamb. What's 'is thing with animals lately?"

Will and Djaq appeared, holding hands.

"And there's Will and Djaq, back from the 'oly Land. Nope, all accounted for."


	3. Rescue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What should the gang do?

**Title:** Rescue?

 ** **Author:**** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Much, Robin

 **Summary:** What should the gang do? Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's _Silence is Golden_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"There's reports of noises from the castle," said Allan, "presumably you know 'ho?"

"We'd better mount a rescue," said Robin glumly.

"Must we?" asked Much with a hopeful look.

"It's Public Relations," said Robin. "We'll never get new followers if they think we won't rescue them."

Much cleared his throat. "Would it be wrong if we tried to rescue them but failed?"

"I couldn't do that. They must come back."

"Not bein' funny Robin, but can we take a vote?" asked Allan.

"OK," said Robin, "All those in favour of a fake rescue, say aye."

"Aye" reverberated throughout Sherwood forest.


	4. Walk Right In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Easiest rescue yet.

**Title:** Walk Right In

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Robin, guard

 **Summary:** Easiest rescue yet. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Rescue_

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The gang had encountered surprisingly little resistance and, to their chagrin, were finding that the rescue was looking more like it would wind up being real instead of fake. The only place they had encountered guards had been at the stairs to the dungeons.

"Your people are being kept in Milord Sheriff's chambers," the head guard told them. "You'll need to mount your rescue there."

"Why should I believe you?" Robin asked.

"Look, we don't want no trouble." The guard leaned in close. "Can you just get 'em outta here?"

Robin sighed and turned to the gang with a shrug.

 

 

 

* * *


	5. Change of Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can the gang snatch success from the jaws of defeat?

**Title:** Change of Plan

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, John, Much, Robin, Will

 **Summary:** Can the gang snatch success from the jaws of defeat? Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Walk Right In_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The gang stood staring at one another, unable to believe their bad luck. Then Allan moved them out of earshot and spoke "Good job some of us plan for the unexpected." Pulling Djaq to one side he whispered instructions before seeing her rush off. John, Much and Will were also given tasks.

Once they were all back together Robin surveyed their possessions; a bottle of chloroform, a master key to the castle, a covered linen basket and some dirty smocks. He looked confused. "I thought we weren't rescuing them."

"We're breakin' 'em back into the dungeons" replied Allan grinning widely.


	6. Plan C?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a flaw in Allan's plan.

**Title:** Plan C?

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Robin

 **Summary:** There's a flaw in Allan's plan. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Change of Plan_.

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The gang assembled outside the sheriff's door.

"All right, everyone knows what to do?" Allan looked from one face to another; the gang nodded.

Djaq whispered, "Will and I subdue the sheriff."

"Much and I knock out Kate," Robin added.

"Little John and I will take down Tuck," Allan said. "'opefully, 'e's already tied," Allan muttered, remembering their first meeting with the pontificating priest.

"On three." Robin nodded to the others.

"One. Two. Three!" The gang burst through the door, then retreated immediately, bending over at the knees, coughing and gagging.

"I ain't never seen nothin' that disgustin'," Allan declared.


	7. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could explain the horrors of the room?

**Title:** Explanations

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Robin, Will, mentions Kate,

 **Summary:** What could explain the horrors of the room? Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Plan C_?.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The gang fell into a tense silence for a moment, each pushed into their own personal circles of hell by what they had seen. Djaq, having witnessed more disgusting sights than most in her time, snapped out of her torpor first. "How did they get such a big horse through that small doorway?" she asked.

"'Ow on earth did they get Tuck in that position?" asked Allan.

"And what was Kate doing with those stirrups?" added Will.

"I saw something like this this before," said Robin, wiping his brow, "in a back street in the Holy Lands. Let me explain."


	8. Second Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang begins to question why they're there.

**Title:** Second Thoughts

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** NC-17 for implications

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Little John, Much Robin

 **Summary:** The gang begins to question why they're there. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Explanations_.

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"No!" the gang cried in unison, holding up their hands.

Allan spoke first. "Not bein' funny, Robin, but I can think of enough things on my own without you fillin' things in…so to speak."

"We um, we have tried. I mean, haven't we?" All romantic thoughts Much might have entertained about Kate had been shattered at seeing her upside down and naked in the stirrups while Vaisey had walked around, pulling on the bits of leather attached to Tuck.

"We  _should_  try again." Robin sounded unsure.

John blushed. "Robin, was it just me or did they seem to be…enjoying themselves?"


	9. Faking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allan doubts what the gang has just seen.

**Title:** Faking

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Much, Robin, Will, mentions Kate, Tuck,

 **Summary:** Allan doubts what the gang has just seen. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Second Thoughts_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"No, they was fakin'" cut in Allan.

"Really?" asked Robin, "Kate sounded like she was enjoying it."

"Well you'd know," replied Allan, determined not to let the archer forget his previous transgression, "but from my experience, if Tuck ain't lecturin' someone, and Kate ain't whinin' about 'ow everyone else is to blame for all 'er misfortunes, they're fakin' enjoyment."

"Vaizey wasn't" muttered Djaq, "Did you see what was sticking out of his frilly knickers?"

"'Opefully, after enough strong ale, I'll forget that," said Allan shuddering.

"So what now?" asked Much.

"Why not smuggle them into closed religious orders?" asked Will.


	10. Details

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang begins to question why they're there.

**Title:** Details

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Little John, Much Robin

 **Summary:** The gang begins to question why they're there. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's _Faking._

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made

~*~

"What sort of religious order would take them after…that?" Much asked.

"It ain't like we're gonna tell 'em what they been up to with Queen Vaisey in there," Allan put in.

"And I don't know many priests who would—even in confession—talk about having something like  _that_  in their mouths," Robin added.

"But what about Kate? She'll blab, you know she will." Little John looked meaningfully toward Robin.

Robin looked from one blushing face to another. "She didn't!"

Allan, Much, and Little John nodded.

"Every little detail, mate. Every  _little_  detail," Allan said.

"There's nothing little about my…details!"


	11. How Do You Solve a Problem Like...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allan doubts what the gang has just seen.

**Title:** How Do You Solve a Problem Like...

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, John, Much, Robin, mentions Kate, Tuck,

 **Summary:** Allan doubts what the gang has just seen. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Details_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"She told me that you ..." Djaq blushed, stepped next to Robin and whispered to him.

His mouth dropped in horror, quickly turning to anger, "I have never-"

"Yeah," said Allan, "which surprised me, given all your  _experience_."

"Enough!" said Robin, "Tuck we blackmail, but Kate ..."

John smiled. "We could douse her in ale, take her to a nunnery, and tell them she's a drunken compulsive liar."

"Or mad," added Djaq, "especially with those braids."

"But how do we get them out?" asked Robin.

"If that guard says Prince John's 'ere," said Allan, "'opefully they'll stop. Then we can grab 'em."


	12. Friend or Foe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets by with a little help from their...friends?

**Title:** Friend or Foe?

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, guard, mentions the gang, and those other two.

 **Summary:** The gang gets by with a little help from their...friends? Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's _How Do You Solve a Problem Like..._

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made

~*~

The guard in question had been leaning against the wall, arms crossed impatiently while the gang had dithered over the rescue. Allan looked over at the man.

"Hugh, we need a bit of 'elp 'ere."

Hugh sighed. "Do you think it'll work?"

Allan shrugged. "We could just leave—say as 'ow you over-powered us and drove us from the castle."

Hugh blanched. "You wouldn't!"

Allan looked at the others and they all moved toward the stairs.

"Wait! I'll do it. But you gotta let it be known among the guards that I helped you get rid of…er, rescue…those two."

"Done."


	13. Why Have Cotton?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is afoot at last.

**Title:** Why Have Cotton?

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Robin, guard, ANO, mentions "moaner", "preacher", Vaisey.

 **Summary:** The plan is afoot at last. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Friend or Foe?_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Hugh rapped on the door. "Sir, Prince John has arrived. He expects your attendance immediately." The guard rolled his eyes as shrieking filled the corridor, relaxing when it stopped moments later.

The gang rushed into the room and within moments Kate, gagged by her braids, and Vaisey were unconscious, hidden in the linen basket.

Robin, trying to unfasten Tuck, suddenly froze hearing footsteps behind him. "Dearest Vaisey has provided us a gift?" said the real Prince John, tapping the disguised archer's shoulder. "Peasant, have donkey-boy here sent to my chambers, wherever they may be. A wild, debauched night awaits!"


	14. The Royal Pleasure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When royalty commands, the gang has to comply. Don't they?

**Title:** The Royal Pleasure

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating: P** G-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** PJ, Robs, the pontificating pox..er, priest.

 **Summary:** When royalty commands, the gang has to comply. Don't they? Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Why Have Cotton?_

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made

~*~

"Right away, Yer Highness," Robin replied, bowing obsequiously. "Shall I bring the beast as well?"

Tuck's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head in negation.

The prince stroked his beard. "Hmm, it looks…drained, don't you think?"

"Aye, it's seen better days." Robin hauled Tuck up. "I'll just deliver this one to your rooms, then."

"And where would those rooms be, exactly?"

"You go up the hall there, Yer Highness, then up the flight of stairs and down the hall on the next floor. I'll bring this up by the servant's entrance, so no one sees."

"That will suffice."


	15. What England Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody tries to take over. Now who could that be?

**Title:** What England Needs

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Prince John, Robin, "donkey-boy" Tuck.

 **Summary:** Somebody tries to take over. Now who could that be? Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _The Royal Pleasure_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Prince John left the room with his retinue, allowing the gang to ponder their next move. As usual Tuck decided to fill the silence. "You're rescuing us, excellent, I have a plan."

"Tuck," said Robin sternly, "you're going to a monastery."

"But I must spread the Robin Hood myth. The people of England need a-"

"Bit of bleedin' peace and quiet," said Allan, refastening the monk's bridle, "Robin, let's let Prince John 'ave 'im for now." He rubbed Tuck under the chin. "Wouldn't you love to 'ave 'is ear for the evenin', amongst other things?"

Djaq giggled at the innuendo.

 

* * *


	16. The Flying Priest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an easy solution to their problem, if they'll only take it.

**Title:** The Flying Priest

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Robs, the pontificating pox..er, priest.

 **Summary:** There's an easy solution to their problem, if they'll only take it. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _What England Needs_

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made

~*~

Allan raised his eyebrows at Robin, looking from Tuck to the open window and back again. His questioning gaze said better than words that one window could solve all their problems.

Robin frowned and shook his head. He sighed. "I would love nothing better than to leave him with Prince John. I'm sure the prince would take care of his overactive tongue. But we do not torture people. Not even traitorous princes who deserve it."

"Robin…"

"It's settled, Allan. We bring him to the monastary."

"And torture the poor, innocent priests instead. Knew I shoulda stayed with Giz," Allan grumbled.


	17. Rifts Repaired

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang pull themselves together, and move off.

**Title:** Rifts Repaired

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Guy, John, Much, Robin, mentions "me me me" Kate, "donkey-boy" Tuck, Vaisey.

 **Summary:** The gang pull themselves together, and move off. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _The Flying Priest._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"You could always stay here with him and these two," said Robin pointing at Tuck and Kate.

"Bit 'arsh ain't it?" said Allan, realising he had misspoken, "Just promise me we'll take 'em to silent orders. I don't want 'er upsettin' one of me nunneries."

"Our ladies of the perpetual bed warming?" asked Much drily.

"Enjoyable as this witty banter is," said John, "shouldn't we get a move on?"

Tuck was drugged and bundled into the linen basket, along with Kate and Vaisey, and the gang moved off down the corridor until a voice rang out. "Stop!" It was Gisborne.


	18. Destinations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang finds an unlikely ally.

**Title:** Destinations

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan,Guy,Robin, mentions whiney, mouthy, and psycho.

 **Summary:** The gang finds an unlikely ally. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Rifts Repairedl_

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made

~*~

"What do you think you're doing?"

Robin bowed, playing up his disguise as a servant. "We're takin' these pris'ners to His Majesty."

Guy frowned and moved closer. "Save it, I know it's you, Hood."

Robin stood straighter and shrugged. "You got us, Gisborne. But you may not want to. We're taking our two and your problem and bringing them to a closed order."

"Here or France?"

"Well, we were thinking of the Brothers of Mercy, just north of London."

Guy began to draw his sword.

"But France is nice this time o' year," Allan amended.

Guy nodded. "Be careful."


	19. Onwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang begin their journey south.

**Title:** Onwards

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Robin, guard.

 **Summary:** The gang begin their journey south. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Destinations._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The gang made fast progress within the castle, soon getting to the main gate. Believing there may be a problem, Robin ensured that a blonde braid was hanging over the side of the laundry basket. When the guard saw it he waved them through with a smile.

Outside stood a cart and a number of horses, held by a guard. "We 'ad a whip round," he said with a grin, "to get you on your way."

They headed south towards the capital. "We ain't goin' on a boat again, are we?" asked Allan, "it didn't turn out so good before."


	20. Ransom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one wants to go to France right now, but what to do?

**Title:** Ransom

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Much, Robin, Will.

 **Summary:** No one wants to go to France right now, but what to do? Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Onwards_

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"Of course we're not. We'll simply dump them all in the middle of the forest, blindfolded and tied, and let them find their own ways."

"Robin, do you think that's such a great idea?" Much asked.

Robin sighed. "Probably not. How much, then?"

"How much what?" Will, who had been mostly silent, was becoming nervous at the thought that the two vociferous villeins might return with them. He enjoyed his peace and quiet.

"How much ransom do we ask?"

"You think they're gonna pay to get this lot back?"

"Only the sheriff. They'll pay us to keep the others away."


	21. The French Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who'll pay a ransom?

**Title:** The French Connection

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, John, Robin, Will, mentions the preacher and Vaisey.

 **Summary:** Who'll pay a ransom? Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Ransom._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

 **Author's Note:** I've taken a bit of liberty with history here, which would appear to put me in line with the show itself.

~*~

"'Ho'll pay for Vaisey?" asked Allan, "Only John cares about 'im." "The prince," he added, seeing little John preparing to punch him.

"We should at least cover our costs," said Much, "and unless we find a couple of rich blind mutes, that does only leave the sheriff."

"Will?" asked Djaq, "Could we sell Vaisey and Tuck to that French nobleman we met in London?"

"No!" said the carpenter, clearly shocked.

"He would definitely pay, and probably handsomely, especially given their current dress. What was his name?"

"Sade? The Marquis de Sade?" replied Will.

"Let's hope he's still there" said Robin.


	22. No Deposit, No Return?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang tries to sell the terrible trio to the Marquis de Sade, but is even that famous man so depraved?

**Title:** No Deposit, No Return?

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, OC.

 **Summary:** The gang tries to sell the terrible trio to the Marquis de Sade, but is even that famous man so depraved? Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _The French Connection_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

As it turned out, the Marquis was there, the sale went through, with the gang throwing in Kate as a gift. The gang stayed overnight at an inn, enjoying the luxury of real beds.

Come morning, the gang woke to loud knocking on their door. An agitated Marquis stood outside with his purchases.

"Non. Even I am not so depraved as to want to keep company with these!"

"There ain't no return policy," Allan grumbled. He had suggested they leave town quickly last night, but Robin had wanted to celebrate.

"I give them to you, free!" De Sade stomped away.


	23. Divide and Conquer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This time, the plan will work!

**Title:** Divide and Conquer

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Robin, mentions Gisborne, John, the moaner, Much, the preacher and Vaisey.

 **Summary:** This time, the plan  **will**  work! Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _No Deposit, No Return?_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

"Per'aps," said Allan, "we could try stickin' to the plan next time. We'd've gotten away with it if we'd left yesterday." John and Much nodded as they finished drugging their captives again.

"So what's the new plan?" asked Robin, clearly upset at being undermined.

"Divide and conquer" said Allan, "With the ransom money, we send Vaisey to France, like Gis wants, Tuck to the 'oly lands where 'opefully he'll be captured by the Turks, and Kate to an 'igh security nunnery I know in Kent. Then we get away quickly, before anyone realises what we've done."

Everyone nodded their agreement.


	24. The Division

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The division of evil.

**Title:** The Division

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Our gang, mention of the sadistic sheriff and the bothersome brother.

 **Summary:** The division of evil. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Divide and Conquer._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Allan, Robin, and Much stood on the quay, watching Vaisey being carried up the gangplank. The large ship was soon heading up the Thames and out to sea. On another pier, the others watched the similarly unconscious Tuck being loaded onto another ship. The gang heaved a sigh of relief. They had been sure to let the captains know that both men were mentally unstable and suffered from delusions. Discreet bribes had ensured that the two men would be kept unconscious until they arrived at their destinations—an insane asylum for Vaisey, and the front lines near Acre for Tuck.


	25. Cruel and Unusual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two down, one to go.

**Title:** Cruel and Unusual

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** PG

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, John, mentions the gang and the moaner.

 **Summary:** This time, the plan  **will**  work! Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _The Division._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Leaving London, towards Canterbury, the gang made their way to the high security nunnery, Our Lady of Perpetual Remand, which, they were assured by Allan, would take Kate off their hands for good.

"Not long now, mate," he said to John, "and we'll be free again."

"We'll still be outlaws."

"True, but the cruel and unusual punishment will've ended."

The nuns were remarkably welcoming, once Allan explained that Kate's problems started with her drinking pottery slip as a child. They took her to their high security wing, fitting a scold's bridle as a precaution.

The gang left promptly this time.


	26. The Road Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go--home?

**Title:** The Road Home 

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** G 

 **Word count:** 100 

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Little John, Robin, mentions Djaq, Much, Will. 

 **Summary:** Time to go--home?  Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Cruel and Unusual_.

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.  

~*~

Robin and Much ambled along at the head of the group, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight; Will and Djaq came next, enjoying the peace. Little John turned to watch Allan, who was dawdling at the back, playing with something that sparkled around his neck.

"What's that?" John asked.

Allan grinned. "This 'ere's a  _momento_. Young novice said if I should ever care to use it, she'd keep me from 'arm."

John snorted and shook his head, turning back to shout at Robin. "So, now can we go home?"

"We could stop for a pint in Nottingham, first," Robin suggested.


	27. Off Target

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at Nottingham the gang have a close shave.

**Title:** Off Target

**Author:** mideltone_one

**Rating:** G

**Word count:** 100

**Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Archer, Djaq, mentions the gang.

**Summary:** Back at Nottingham the gang have a close shave. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _The Road Home._

**Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Allan, Djaq and Will stood chatting outside the inn, while the others were running errands.

"Are you Robin Hood's men?" asked a tall stranger.

"Yes, 'ho wants to know?", asked Allan.

"My name's Archer," he replied, "I'm going to be your leader."

"You have a stupid name," cut in Djaq, "now why don't you run along, pretty boy? We're not in the mood for such stupid ideas."

"But I can fight, and shoot arrows, and ..."

"Nobody cares," added Allan, "and we ain't recruitin' anyway." Archer skulked away, crestfallen.

"We won't be makin' that mistake again," said Allan with a grin.


	28. Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I might not be popular for this one, but she killed Allan, after all.

**Title:** Sisters

 **Author:** Whytewytch(4)

 **Rating:** PG-13

 **Word count:** 100 **  
**

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Guy, Robin, mentions Isabella. **  
**

 **Summary:** I might not be popular for this one, but she killed Allan, after all. Follows on from mideltone_one's  _Off Target._ **  
**

 **Disclaimer:** _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

The outlaws rounded a corner, nearly running into Guy, a woman who was struggling in his grip, and a bunch of guards. Everyone jumped back, hands going to swords, not drawing yet.

"Gisborne." Robin nodded. "You've got a new woman?"

Guy sneered. "This is my sister Isabella, you oaf."

"That's disgusting," Allan declared.

"I'm not taking her to bed. Do you always think of sex? Even when you were here…"

Allan raised a hand. "'nuff said!"

"She's pretty," Robin said.

"And dangerous. I heard you took whiney to a nunnery. Where?"

"Canterbury. Why?"

"My sister will be joining her there."


	29. Uprisings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allan has news of a revolt.

**Title:** Uprisings

 **Author:** mideltone_one

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 100

 **Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Robin mentions Prince John.

 **Summary:** Allan has news of a revolt. Follows on from  **whytewytch4** 's  _Sisters._

 **Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Allan jogged back into camp a few days later, grinning. "There's an uprisin' by the barons" he announced, "They're saying Prince John gets no more money till they're formally presented to 'im again."

"I heard chanting in Nottingham," said Djaq, "No taxation without re-presentation!"

Allan nodded. "Apparently, 'e's so afraid of what they'll do if they get 'im in a room that 'e's running off to France for the foreseeable, so we won't 'ave 'im botherin' us for a while."

"Where in France?" asked Robin, clearly worried.

"Nowhere near you know 'ho," replied Allan, "I made sure of that."


	30. Enjoy the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence is golden.

**Title:**  Enjoy the Silence

**Author:** Whytewytch(4)

**Rating:** PG-13

**Word count:** 100

**Characters/Pairings:** Allan, Djaq, Little John, Much, Robin,

**Summary:** Silence is golden. Follows on from  **mideltone_one** 's  _Uprisings._ Last of our "Terrible Trio" series. For now...

**Disclaimer:**   _Robin Hood_  is copyright to Tiger Aspect and the BBC. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made.

~*~

Allan leaned against a tree, eyes closed, hands clasped over his belly in relaxation. He gave a soft burp in appreciation of his full stomach. Much was scraping the plates in preparation for washing them. Djaq and Will leaned companionably against each other. Little John sat back, mirroring Allan from across the camp. Robin was patiently whittling a new arrow. Much jumped up.

"Will somebody say something?"


End file.
